Feeling Numb

11 Sep
College has begun and the overwhelming feeling is one of numbness. Numbness not because of the lack of emotions one experiences in the opening weeks quite the contrary, the wide range of emotions leaves only one feeling; numbness.
 
 
Its like you knew it,
Destined to fail. Beginning,
But never quite ending. Everything,
That begins must end. And yet,
You’re held at ransom. Unsure,
Spoilt by that image.
 
What did he say? The more 
I love mankind as a whole,
The less I love man. He’s right,
Chinks, flaws become tragedies.
The love story doesn’t end.
 
Doesn’t progress. You’re stuck,
In a limbo. Out on a limb, 
Fixing it is possible. Only to learn,
Only to learn, mending it isn’t.
And then, its somewhere else.
 
Maybe it always was. You’re feeling numb.
Its broken down. You’ve broken down.
Back up again. You’re on your feet.
You never fell, but thought it all.
Strange as it may seem. Numb,
Is a necessity.
 
You need it. Need someone.
Anyone. They’re all gone.
You’re gone. Just found yourself.
You’re there. Miles to go. Just begun,
You’ve reached the end.

When The Clock Strikes

22 Jul

‘Tis been a while…
Dust on the ground, the clock,
On the mantle, ticking along.
Awaken, there’s not much to see,
Life has caught up.

Reality, overtaken, the headlights beam
But the red doesn’t last, on goes the rise.
Speed never enough if ever too much.
The hand is at 15. The speed,
Approaching infinity, no limits.

And it goes on, rise.
There’s darkness all over, eyes blind,
Look ’round. Look again. Run.
More than what you’ll see, what you feel.
See the light, breathe, now at 30.

Insanity slows down, it’s reached the centre.
Nowhere to go, abuzz with madness.
Body, an instrument, sanity stricken.
Seen 45, got to move on. Insanity,
Still alive. Surreal, the end imagined.

Closing in, infinity is distant, the dust further still,
Life has bowed, but reality. Reality eludes. Unclear.
60 has struck, it’s not an end, must begin.
Again it starts, from none to all. But reality,
A fools imagination.

Destiny In Transit

11 Jun

Coming back home,
One night I saw her.
Destiny makes no distinction
Was what I thought.

Me, in the back seat of a sedan
And she, crammed in an auto.
Her black dress, accentuating
Brown eyes and perfect skin.

In her red dress, I thought again.
Destiny makes no distinction.
She held her gaze at me
And I held mine.

At that moment, it was complete.
I knew not so much as a name.
But we understood something.

Behind that mascara I saw a glint,
She lifted up her hand, and with me
Already moving on ahead. I lifted mine.
And knew one day, she’d be mine.

Wayward Winds

30 May

And the way it blew,
you knew that it had ended.
Sooner than begun.
Wayward winds had blown this way
Scattered and disarrayed.

If you looked up,
Stars burnt and eyes too
But in it all was that softness
That no amount of alcohol could induce.
Only life

Had the everlasting capacity,
to lift the lid a little higher
Let a little more exuberance in.
The winds they blew it all

Blew it all in, and we sang
we danced and we made merry.
The storm was yet to come
The pain inside yet to go.

And they may say to you,
disaster only brings more pain.
But some would reply,
It takes it all away.

All about Love.

5 Apr

(Special thanks to A.D. for all the late nights we spent debating about love.)

Thats the beauty isn’t it,
Some say love comes softly.
In the movies all the heroes fuss
Their femme halves adding drama.
But sometimes, in real life;
Love does come softly.
Love comes uninvited. Like that aunt,
The one who makes plans to come
But doesn’t then. Landing up when you
Expect her least.
The truth being the cardinal one
Love comes and goes and in it all
Behaving like water; slowly, surely alters
Our shapes as human rocks.
You won’t know it. Love is a silent visitor.
She makes the universe seem in line,
Even for that short moment…
Infiniti…Immortality anythings possible.
To those who say come back to earth,
Why? Asks love.
God resides in the skies.
And with that belief in our front pocket
The stars reflect eyes we yearn to see.

Affairs of the Heart

8 Mar

Right after I wrote this poem I gave it to this old friend of mine to read (partly because she gives good feedback and partly because she’s always full of praise) anyway, her first reaction was, and I quote, “Have you had to ever experience such pain?” and that struck me more than anything anyone has told me about this poem since. If you want an honest answer, I’d say no. But thats a conscious answer. Poetry though, as a great person once said, “Is the voice of the sub-concious.”

In that rather solemn note, I leave you to it.

When it began, it couldn’t end.The height, depth and breadth
Of life began and ended with the love.
Loved him, moved on…a tear
Was good enough. Better forgotten.
Along came another,
You see, it never ends. But,
The pillars though, if you knock them down
You’re on your own.

Affairs of the heart never to be questioned,
Better accepted and left to be.
Some never give up and some easily so,
Limits to adhere…the heart doesn’t have any.
A glass shatters, No,
The hearts intact. Affairs of the heart.
Its been hurt and has hurt enough.

Doesn’t strike hard. Comes softly still.

And when you don’t expect it to be,
You’re out. The new one kicked you through.
Affairs of that heart.
Better accepted and left unquestioned.
Betrayal or burial. Accept neither.

Affairs of the heart,
Leave a mark. If it isn’t love,
Its stranger too. But question not
Break on through.

So much more

18 Feb

Spinning; spinning,

The world playing tricks on you
Innocence well preserved
That smile picture perfect
Worth a million gloomy hearts.
Glittering; glittering,
The world lacklustre in front of you
Your eyes glistening in its sparkle
Those eyes picture perfect
Worth a million drops of tears.
Burning; burning,
The world up in flames in front of you
Your words calm
Actions speeding warmth.
Those words in essence perfect
Worth a billion burning souls
You’re worth all those things
And so much more
So dont go slow
Just stay the same
Lets go frame by frame
17 gone by
Lets see how much more we can buy.